Best Life 2010 Day 33: Started weak, finished strong.
So,
I thought I was all ahead of schedule by recording my video on Monday night (instead of Tuesday) and would be able to post it early; but when I woke up this morning the editing software had failed to format the episode properly.
And for some reason, it was just the last straw!
(So this is what it's like in my head, btw.)
So I felt the anger welling up, but I can step back from it like it is happening to someone else; and I asked myself why it was upsetting me, which I figured out (hey, I have to keep SOME secrets). I even did something I don't normally do; the rare times I get upset I just sort it out by myself.
You may not know this, but I know one or two techniques for dealing with negative emotions!
But this time, I allowed myself to be 'vulnerable' and open, and confided in a couple people who's opinion I trust. And I actually listened to it and applied, it; I didn't analyze, debate, or defend; I just processed and accepted.
And in the process, discovered some important things about an ongoing spiritual revelation I've been going through about accepting and integrating my feminine side.
Yes, I said it. I am working to integrate my feminine side. Stop laughing, hehehe.
It became clear to me that I work very very hard on things; I am always DOING but not often 'being'. Even in my meditation, I am DOING.
So I have to relax a bit, let go of the reins a bit, and hand a bit more of things over to the Universe. See, I always believe that the Universe is on my side and will provide for me; but I look at it like I have to do my part to make it happen. Or at least meet destiny half way.
At any rate, I am better now, and even going to bed 'early' (it's just after midnight, can you believe it????)
B. Dave Walters
www.google.com/profiles/bdavewalters
I thought I was all ahead of schedule by recording my video on Monday night (instead of Tuesday) and would be able to post it early; but when I woke up this morning the editing software had failed to format the episode properly.
And for some reason, it was just the last straw!
(So this is what it's like in my head, btw.)
So I felt the anger welling up, but I can step back from it like it is happening to someone else; and I asked myself why it was upsetting me, which I figured out (hey, I have to keep SOME secrets). I even did something I don't normally do; the rare times I get upset I just sort it out by myself.
You may not know this, but I know one or two techniques for dealing with negative emotions!
But this time, I allowed myself to be 'vulnerable' and open, and confided in a couple people who's opinion I trust. And I actually listened to it and applied, it; I didn't analyze, debate, or defend; I just processed and accepted.
And in the process, discovered some important things about an ongoing spiritual revelation I've been going through about accepting and integrating my feminine side.
Yes, I said it. I am working to integrate my feminine side. Stop laughing, hehehe.
It became clear to me that I work very very hard on things; I am always DOING but not often 'being'. Even in my meditation, I am DOING.
So I have to relax a bit, let go of the reins a bit, and hand a bit more of things over to the Universe. See, I always believe that the Universe is on my side and will provide for me; but I look at it like I have to do my part to make it happen. Or at least meet destiny half way.
At any rate, I am better now, and even going to bed 'early' (it's just after midnight, can you believe it????)
B. Dave Walters
www.google.com/profiles/bdavewalters
Posted by David Walters at 2/3/2010 1:26 AM 
Categories: 2010 Challenege
Tags: goals new year resolutions 2010
Categories: 2010 Challenege
Tags: goals new year resolutions 2010
Hey Dave! I just watched your courage video and came straight to you blog. I'm going to explore this site some more. I think the work that you are doing is great!
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Hey Aasana, thanks for the kind words, and thank you for reading! =)
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